The Fickle Heartbeat

Heartbeat: My Life, My Struggle, and the Love I HAD

Shared by BeginningWithOneDay.

I lay in silence, in darkness, in noise, in brightness. At night or during the day. Wherever I lay, sit, walk, he’s there. His voice. His touch. His actions. They don’t go away. He doesn’t go away.

I haven’t seen him in person for 3 and a half years. I don’t need to see him. He is there, in my head. He is my devil. My torment. My hatred. My anger. My life.

A common phrase from friends/family when a couple decides to go their separate ways is ‘you are so much better off without him/her’. For me? This couldn’t be further from the truth.

The pain of being out of the abuse and dealing with day to day living alone feels far worse than being in it day in day out. Whilst in it, I knew someone was there. He was doing those bad…

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